Each year, National Birth Mother's Day, recognized the Saturday before Mother's Day, honors birth mothers, the first mothers of adopted children. While this day originated as a day of solidarity, education, and compassion, it has evolved and may have a mixture of emotions. We understand that for each adoption, the story for each member of the triad can begin with some level of trauma, grief and loss. So, we pause on this day to recognize all that it represents, celebrating life and new beginnings while holding space for the harder emotions.
How Can I or Others Observe National Birth Mother's Day?
On this day, if you are not familiar with the adoption process, and would like to be a support to a member of the adoption triad, take a few moments to learn about what the process entails. Each birth mother comes to adoption for different and deeply personal reasons, having a very unique experience and her own set of reflections surrounding it.
Adopted children may choose to participate in this day in any way that is meaningful to them. Some may choose celebration, and others may choose reflection, and either of these can be tangible or intangible experiences. For adoptive parents, this can also be an opportunity to revisit your child’s adoption story and help them to process any questions that they may have. Understanding that you may not have all the answers yourself, but providing support in this moment is invaluable.
It is always important to remember that all families will experience this day differently, and it will vary from person to person. For some, it may be a quiet and solemn day spent bonding with other birth mothers. For others, perhaps in a more open adoption relationship, the adoptive families and children may spend the day celebrating birth mothers with cards and gifts similar to Mother's Day. While for others, birth mothers and children alike, it may trigger feelings of grief and loss.
At Barker, we want to honor and celebrate the life of a birth mother who made a courageous act of love as she decided what was best for her and for her baby.
**If you would like to engage in these discussions, but you are not sure how or where to begin, Barker offers a series of webinars for each age group to help you feel equipped. You may visit our Barker calendar to view our upcoming webinars or connect with one of our adoption competent therapists by calling the Barker office at 301-664-9664.