The Frieses’ relationship with 
Barker runs deep. Sandra Fries,  
a Barker adoptee, was raised as 
part of the Barker community.  
Her husband, Jonathan, was 
connected for years through 
Sandra. He then joined the 
community himself, when the 
couple became parents via a 
Barker adoption.
Sandra: “Families come together in 
such different ways, and Barker was 
such a beautiful instrument — for my 
parents, and then for my husband 
and me — to create our family. ”
Barker was a mainstay 
throughout Sandra’s childhood — 
from the playdates her mother 
arranged with other Colombian 
adoptees, to international 
picnics, to the culture camps she 
attended. The peer relationships 
Barker seeded gave Sandra a vital 
sense of community and comfort 
growing up.
Sandra: “It’s so important to know 
that you have connection out there; 
that there’s somebody else who’s 
having either the same feelings or the 
same experiences as you. And that 
sense of community is so important.
Just having those touch points 
throughout my life — seeing each  
 
other at the picnic in the fall — was a  
way of Barker saying: We’re still here 
for you.” 
Through her teenage years and 
later as an adult, Sandra showed 
up for Barker, volunteering with 
her mother to participate in panel 
discussions that reached people 
throughout the community. 
Sandra: “Even when my husband 
and I were dating, I was still doing 
things with Barker with my mother. 
We have a connection to Barker 
that’s never going to break. We’ll 
always be connected to them.”
When Sandra and Jonathan 
became parents to their son 
James, her story came full circle.
Sandra: “Growing up, my mother 
would always say — almost ad 
nauseam — ‘the greatest gift your 
birth mother ever gave was you...you 
don’t understand the love it would 
take to give a baby up.’ And I’d go, 
‘Yeah, yeah, yeah.’ Now, being on the 
other side of it as an adoptive parent, 
I totally get it. I’m going to tell James 
that ad nauseam too.”
Looking ahead, the Frieses see 
Barker remaining a fixture in their 
lives, with James growing up as 
part of the same community, and 
the family helping sustain it for 
those coming behind them.
Jonathan: “We want to start going 
to more of the weekend events Barker 
has. As James gets older, we want 
him to go to these things so he can 
interact with children who have a 
shared lived experience — and we, 
then, will have people we can talk to 
who are having a similar experience 
as parents.
We’re open to anything Barker needs 
or wants from us. All they ever have 
to do is call or email. We would do 
anything to give back to Barker — to 
give other potential parents the joy 
we feel.
We joked about how great it would  
be if James becomes a third-
generation Barker parent. Sandra 
has stayed connected 40-ish 
years…I would hope the relationship 
continues for another 40 years, and 
then maybe gets passed on to the 
next little generation.”
COMMUNITY         CARE    	
CONNECTION
07
Sandra & Jonathan Fries
Enduring Community
STORIES OF IMPACT

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